Recently on vacation to the NW coast, I spent a considerable amount of time discovering fun facts about the history of Irish settlers in the area, the redwoods, sea lions, osprey, hawks, owls, urchin, and the beloved whales.
I’ve come to believe that whales are the shooting stars of the sea. They unpredictably and instantaneously break through the surface of a dark and obscure abyss. Their breaching arch and power enter the atmosphere with a magnificence and wonderment that suspends one’s breath – only to return upon making a wish.
Other thoughts and ocean lessons for common themes in the healing nest.
When clients experience a setback in their healing, they often express concern that they are regressing. Setbacks are part of the ebb and flow process of self-discovery, just like a tide naturally gets pulled back into the ocean, then reemerges on a clearer shoreline of self.
Sometimes, we go backwards to revisit parts of our self with new insights, different tools, and apply a more potent dose of medicine. Sometimes, we go backwards to tie up loose ends more intentionally or cut energetic chords we didn’t know were still lingering. Sometimes, we must go backwards to remember the things we survived so we can muster the courage to face another challenge trusting in our preexisting evidence that proves we can do hard things. Sometimes, we get pulled back into an old storm swell so we can choose a stronger wave to ride in on.
Episodes of revisiting pain may still exist; self-work is not always about eradicating pain (for instance, how does one remove grief?) but rather that the degree of pain becomes less intense with episodes of setbacks becoming fewer and further between. The dark parts of life are natural and don’t go away, but we can become wiser and more experienced in navigating them, like nighttime ocean explorers finding their way despite choppy waters and onyx sky.
Towering lighthouses lined the coast, beacons of hope symbolizing the ability to find direction and resilience in the face of challenge – to keep moving forward, towards the light, no matter how close, no matter how far. I have found that the best healing progress happens when folks consistently lean into what lights them up. Faith, nature, travel, culture, movement, art, tinker projects, under water basket weaving, bees, birds, cooking, community, service, pursuit of higher education, any combination of all the things that help us feel lived, inspired, and purposeful instead of just survived, mundane, and meaningless. What is your lighthouse?
It’s not uncommon that folks don’t know what lights them up. That is part of the process of self-discovery. Healing is about establishing an identity beyond the pain-body and beyond the primary roles of career, partner, family. To me, healing is often about learning, learning about life and oneself in new ways. I don’t necessarily mean read every self-help book (though wonderful); sometimes we must step away from constantly analyzing and trying to fix or understand. Sometimes life really sucks, and bad things happen and none of it will ever make any sense.
What if we saw ourselves not as broken but well journeyed. Healing is about growing in ways that challenge the conditioning built around our wounds. Our brains and bodies follow the map that they were programed around, and until an alternative chart is in place, that original course often keeps circling back to our trauma. Growth is about remapping. Remapping comes from new experiences rooted in safe, curious, diversified, and embodied learning which comes from a curious willingness to venture into new territory. Following old directions will not take you to new places.
Neglecting our exposure to new experiences is like a tide pool with limited expansion, it can easily become stagnant.
Life is like a shoreline; you never really know what will wash up. Maybe a beautiful abalone shell or an amber colored sea-class, other times you might get trash or a surprise sting from a jellyfish. They all have a place in the greater scheme of things, and they all provide lessons and new perspectives that will inspire the way your redesign your renewed sense of self and quality of life.
If you truly want to know yourself and build a life beyond the pain points, get out there in the ocean of potential -full speed ahead- and experience as much of life as you can, even the scary parts. The urge for experience is, perhaps, the greatest importance of being alive.
The seas of healing waters and self-exploration are waiting for you.
With love, Robin