It is official, my first semester of graduate school is complete. I made it, and I only thought about quitting ten thousand times. Well, maybe not ten thousand but a few. I probably shouldn’t admit that, but then again, I have made a commitment to speak my truth even if it is not what people want to hear, or if it changes people’s perception of me. Regardless of my sturggle to manage time well, I love the program, and consider it not only an advancement in my academic endeavors but an extension in my yoga training and practice. My weak moments of surrender were opportunity to reflect upon my intentions and my commitment to wellness, just like the moments of surrender we often experience on our yoga mat.
When I was working in my undergrad I was much younger, had no children and for some reason could actually function late in the night. Now, I am a sponge with knowledge, I want to take it in slowly and absorb it in a manner that allows it to become a lived understanding. I turn into a pumpkin after 9pm, completely unable to retain the slightest bit of information, let alone Nero-transmitter patterns and DSM diagnostic criteria. I have been humbled in my overly ambitious pursuit to attain this degree in a short amount of time, and have since accepted that it will be a process of steadiness and ease rather than expectation and coercion.
Hmmm….sounds familiar, a bit like the practice on the mat, sthira (steadiness) sukham (ease). I am learning a practice that does not revolve around warriors and chaturanga’s, however the intentions and components are the similar. My passion for this field of study is comparable to the warm Ujjayi breath, they are both the current that carries me through. New concepts and possibility are the heart openers that welcome expansion. The inner state of reflection and contemplation are my academic hip openers. The final punctuation mark followed by a click of the ‘submit form’ button is my Savasana, a time to be at rest with what I have created, a time to let the work wash through me.
I have learned enough in this semester to keep me inspired for years to come and I am eager to see what will be next. I am narrowing my area of concentration, research and thesis as well as aligning with my unique professional identity. I have been introduced to theory, concept, and application of both ancient and new. I have received great confirmation in the body work, yoga therapy and intuitive healing I currently practice. I have met some incredibly innovative professors and powerful colleagues, and the vision of whole body wellness is a common thread (sutra) that weaves us together in the somatic community. I am curious, ambitious and hungry for a rich knowledge and authentic truth. I am inspired and feel myself growing and see my purpose as one that bridges the ancient teachings of Shamanism, Yoga and Buddhism with the modern world of movement, science, integrative medicine and a thorough comprehension of exploratory somatic and cognitive psychology. This is another practice, the practice of Jnana, knowledge. I am dedicated to understanding the many layers of self and how they communicate, share and merge to create a whole being. From this understanding I am further dedicated to offer healing and awareness, to resolve trauma and suffering from the unfortunate circumstances of life that often plague and paralyze people….including myself. This is my Svadhyaya Self study. Everything I learn in this program not only will be applied to my professional work, but absolutely applied to my personal discovery and recovery.
Everything we experience in life is a practice, and everything we experience in life that brings us closer to our core, that invites transformation, evolution and awakens the authentic Self is a practice of union (yoga) and dharma (purpose). I often share with students that the best yoga comes in alternative forms like school, work, family, relationships; in the day to day living that allows us the opportunity to apply what we reveal through asana, meditation, study, surrender and contemplation. My physical practice is not my goal, nor is my meditative or academic practice, but rather the are all tools that have, and will, strengthen my foundation and sense of whole self that is embodied in the real practice, living.
May you build your life on the integrity and intentions revealed in your pursuit of knowledge, peace and understanding within the body, the mind and the spirit. My all you do hold the sacred space of possibility, presence and practice.
Namaste,
Robin Afinowich
